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May 4, 2017

This is Why Love Sucks

Hey there Moontales :)

This is basically just me ranting and complaining that Love Sucks and I will forever be lonely. Comment down below if you feel the same

Why is it everytime I fall for someone they always seem to never feel the same??

I really gotta do something about my crushing to hard and to fast. I get to know someone and get feelings for them. If they get feelings for me, I panic and run away

Maybe it is my obsessive personality acting up. Could be

I am almost 30 and my love life seems to be going nowhere. I don't even have a love life or anyone that even likes me. I have grown to like the comfort of my place and scared of the world and getting out there. Not everyone is going to like me. Which I am ok with people not liking me. I mean like as in no guys is going to like me.

In my life very few people have seemed to actually like me. But those people never really get a chance to know the real me.

I am closed off. Gated, bricked, glued, everything imaginable has protected revealing my true self to people. I fear letting people get in, being hurt. I have seen it too many times to let it happen to me. That is the problem. I will never be able to get love if I am so guarded. My social anxiety kicks in.

I post instagram pics of stuff but no one really goes on my profile so basically no one sees it. Like this blog I can write whatever I want see few people see it. I can put up my suicide note and not many people would see it nor even care if its real.

You think the one who you get butterflies, dream about, think about, smile for no reason about, listen to love songs about.... is the one for you but it never is. Then you wonder if there is anyone who is gonna love you for who you are or even love you for who your not. You begin to think the answer is no since no one has come to even try. And you realize you are gonna be the crazy animal lady that no one likes in real life.

Over the internet they like you since your not really showing the real you. You are hiding behind something and someone your not. Someone you wish you were but will never be in real life. You know you are crazy and a bit strange with problems and love animals.

'The animals love me for who I am' You tell yourself that when times feel lonely even though you know they can't do to you what another person can do. They can't have your kids, bring you flowers, hug you at night or tell you everything is gonna be ok.

'Everyone is crazy in their own way' You tell yourself to get through those times when you feel low or even to get through life.

'Maybe I am not good enough for anyone to love.' You start to realize the truth. It is not your walls you have up. It is that you are not good enough. Sure everyone is crazy but you are on another level of crazy. Mental to be truthfully. You start to think maybe you should just accept your life as a crazy animal lady who is never going to find love


But are you really?

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