Jul 27, 2017

# FabbleMoon Original # mental health

What Mental Health Issues Feels Like Inside


Last post on Mental Health Tips and Signs to Look for  here



I have been trying to think of a post to write. I have been thinking more of the mental health side of things. While trying to find things to write for stories/poems. I thought I would take it and put it together. This is what I came up with:


What My Mental Health Issues Feel Like



Now of course this post is going to be different then other people experience and what they feel going on inside their own self. I just wanted to give some more insight of what it feels like to experience these things. What happens inside my brain. Everyone always asks me how do you feel and I never have an answer. Well this is my answer I guess. As complex, insane, frazzled as it seems. Most of the times I do feel just complete emptiness. 

If you feel something like this then feel free to comment down below with a 'YES'


Note- This post will include a bunch of randomness but that is what mental health is and feels like. Try to bare with me :) 






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It burns, it hurts. You try and scream but nothing comes out.
Until then you struggle with the fire raging inside you. Lungs getting burnt. Its hard to breath. Body hurts all the time, wanting to cry but tears dried from the flames. You fight this on your own. Trying not to give up but wishing it would end 
 No one sees the fire so they don't believe you. They don't know that the fire inside you is getting stronger, out of control.



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Like you are running from a rabid pack of 20 lions who have not eaten in a day. Dressed head to toe in fresh meat. Locked in a 100 foot cage. Nowhere to escape, to run and hide. You know eventually the lions will catch up to you. Still you try to outrun and outsmart them. Your body breaking down with every step you take



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Then there are times when everything is just blank. You can't function because your brain and body has just gone blank. They can't function together or on their own. No communication between them. No words, no emotions, nothing but emptiness. You feel as though you lost all function. As if you are out of your own body. 

Who's body is this? 
Why am I cursed with feeling this way? 

You open your mouth to ask for help but nothing comes out. Dead silence. If anything does come out then the words are jumbled, voice shaky so that no one understands what you are trying to say. You sit there in silence as your heart races. The voices in your mind either running, screaming or there is nothing even in there. Never sure when you will be able to calm down. 


Sleep is the only peace you get from all of these problems. That is if you can sleep. Sometimes you pass out due to lack of sleep. I sleep all the time due to my not wanting to be awake. I can control my dreams, they are good dreams most of the time. I can't control life and most of the time life is bad. Sleep if the answer I find most helpful 


I hope this makes sense to anyone reading it. Thanks for reading and I will see you Tuesday with another post 

2 comments:

  1. You couldn't have described it any better, this is exactly how mental illness feels like and sleep feels like the only escape. This was very well written, hope you post more on mental health!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. In sleep we can create our happiness which is what I love

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